10 Ways to show her you care without spending money.

‘Fathers edition’

Women are easy to please if we understand how they think and what makes them tick. Just like all the many different species of flowers (do you say species for flowers? I’m not a botanist but you catch my drift) they all bloom depending on different seasons, temperatures, pollination, weather conditions and, yeah you get it. Different woman have different vices that make them unique like a flower. My ‘flower’ was difficult to understand at first, but this is what I have come to know through my life and marriage that keeps me in the good books.


1. Maid service.

When you have children, 4 to be exact, it’s near impossible to have a clean house. When one room is clean another becomes messy, they go from room to room leaving it behind looking like a natural disaster has just swept through. Oh the joys of 3 young boys. While wifey has gone grocery shopping or is in the room watching a show or having a nap, take the time to clean the house, or a part of the house. Do it without expecting acknowledgement or a pat on the back. Trust me it will go a long way.

2. Master chef.

Don’t even say the words “I can’t cook”, and if that is the case then this will be even more meaningful when you cook for your spouse. Even if it’s burnt and hard as a rock, she will find you adorable and will love the fact you tried to impress her with your newfound culinary skills. Even if later you need to shoot to Maccas to curb the hunger from your uneatable food it’ll be worth it. If you can cook, make it a regular thing if you aren’t already doing it.

3. Surprise her.

Your wife knows you, most likely better than you know yourself. She knows what time you get home, what you’re going to do when you get home, what you do when you wake up, etc. So, when you do something out of your normal daily routine she notices. Try coming home early from work to surprise her or waking up earlier to make her breakfast in bed or send her an, “I love you” text randomly in the middle of the day just to let her know you were thinking about her. Skip the gym to stay home to watch a movie with the family instead. If you’re like me, skipping the gym to be with her will show her a lot.

4. Little hidden treasures.

Just like a random text message to say you love and thinking about her, it hits even sweeter when your wife is out and about and goes into her bag and finds a note saying something silly like, “smile or your teeth will go rotten, love you”, or if she’s home and doing the washing and finds a note saying “I appreciate you….for cleaning my smelly undies”. Not only does it bring a smile to that sweet beautiful face but enforces your appreciation for her.

5. Time out.

Simply put, take the kids and leave her alone for a few hours. If you do this make sure you have cleaned the house before you leave, if it’s messy she will spend that time cleaning where your honest efforts will have all been in vain.

6. Take some Initiative.

My wife loves it when I take initiative when I get the kids ready for bed if she’s cleaning the kitchen or vice versa. A simple thing like changing my son’s nappy and not leaving her to do it really works a charm when shes stressed and tired. To shower the kids while she’s cooking dinner, or to do the washing when the basket is full instead of jamming your clothes into the basket creating, a ‘jack-in-the-box’ spring-loaded washing basket. When you can see she’s stressed and ready to burst, take the steering wheel from whatever she is doing and tell her to go rest.

7. Hug her.

When I first got married this would have never been on the list as she hated to be randomly touched and wasn’t a very affectionate person. But now I have rubbed off on her far too much and any opportunity I get I take it as a sniper camping in ‘Call of Duty’. When watching a film or in the car, walking around, I would use it as an opening to get my touchy touchy on, massaging her arm, leg, back, shoulders, anywhere really just to get my flirt on, and yes sometimes annoy her. She may push you away depending on her mood, but the thought is impressed in her mind that you care and are trying. One thing though, Don’t touch her like you are trying to drop subtle hints, then you’re doing it for yourself and it means nothing to her.

8. Listen to her.

My wife loves to be heard, most likely because in the past I didn’t do much listening. Now I find my deepest pleasures conversing with my wife, we spend up to hours at night talking to one another, laughing our butts off (censored version) over things that our kids have done that day. Talking about our dreams, listening to her take on life and how much it has changed since we got married. Her heartaches and disappointments, joys and expectations. This is something I can admit I became lazy with over time. At the start of our relationship, I was attentive, but as time goes by and the more familiar I became with my wife the lazier I got. Only to rediscover this most basic and simple action to be by far the most effective on the list.

9. Say “sorry”.

Everyone fights with their spouse. It is completely natural. Sometimes you’ve had a long hard day and you get home and the air is full of bad energy because she has also had a long day. You might say something not meaning to be offensive but it sets her off. Don’t fight with her, you can see straight away she’s had a hard day from her protective reaction. Just apologise instead of going tit for tat, back and forth to prove she’s in the wrong. Show complete love and sincerity to your spouse, that you understand and love her regardless and she will love you for all time for showing your compassion and humility.

10. Consistency.

Like in everything, consistency is key. Need I say more?







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